When the twins Cerise and Casey were ten months old, I wrote a letter to my older babies,Colby and Courtney.
I wrote it because I was so overwhelmed at having four under four when they were first born, and a lot of my time was suddenly taken up with the twins, when really they were only babies themselves.
Probably a good healthy dose of mummy guilt was thrown in there as well,trying to make sure they all had some one on one time with us. It was, and still is, really important that they get this. It’s been a bit of a juggling act at times, especially now our little Carsons here as well, but hopefully we’ve managed it most of the time.
I look at this picture of you Colby and Courtney, and I am so very proud of you.Colby was three, Courtney was one and Cerise and Casey were only three days old.
I had two newborn babies in the house and you were only babies yourself, but you were so good with Cerise and Casey giving them hugs and kisses and trying not to wake them when they were asleep.
They are now nearly eleven months old, and Colby you are about to start school after the summer and Courtney you are two and a half, and this year has been a hard and demanding year for mummy and daddy, but I have never had to worry about either of you with the babies, no jealousy or resentment just pure sibling love. I couldn’t ask for anything better and I couldn’t be prouder.
I’m pretty sure as you get older you will row and bicker, but I hope the kindness and gentleness you both show now, will always stay.You are too young for me to say all this now but I hope as you grow up you will know how grateful and proud I am of my two older babies. I love you xxx mummy
I can read this letter back, ten years later, and realise how desperate I was, just to get everything right.
I was so worried back then that I had somehow ruined their life, I didn’t want them to grow up hating their childhood because they came from a large family, which is silly as they love one another, although I know at times they wish they didn’t have to share bedrooms haha.
Thirteen years after having our first born, and we have just entered the teenage years, and boy are we just winging it at the moment, the teen years are a whole new ball game (and a whole new post).
As parents you never ever stop learning, just when you get comfy with one stage another one comes along, like a slap round the face to wake you up again.
Bottom line, we can’t always get it right, and yet we spend most of our time trying.
There’s only so much worrying you can do, and the rest you have to leave up to them, and hope at the end of their childhood journey they come out of it as respectful, compassionate, happy and law abiding adults.