This is a post about my working career vs my stay at home years. My life is in two sections, London life where I worked from age 15 to 29 and Liverpool life where I have been a stay at home mum from age 29 to 42, both are nearly equal in time, and both have gone so quick.
Is one better than the other, and would I make the same choices again.
JOBS I’VE HAD:
Aug 89-Oct 90 Marks Cash and Carry:
A part time job while I was still at school.
Jan 91-April 91 Anthony James hairdressers:
A junior at this hairdressers, I knew pretty quick this wasn’t something I wanted to persue.
April 91-July 92 Stratford Cash and Carry:
I spent just over a year here and left, just before the company closed down.
July 92-July 94 William Hill Bookmakers:
I worked here for two years until I had an operation to remove half my thyroid as there was a lump on it that thankfully turned out to be benign.
Oct 94-April 98 Clinton Cards:
This was probably my favourite job, but it was the worst paid. I made my way up to assistant manager, but left when a better opportunity came along.
April 98-August 98 Halifax bank:
I hated every minute of the short time I was here, It was in one of their flagship branches in Mayfair, It wasn’t the company, but the rest of the staff,They made me feel really unwelcome, and I didn’t have the confidence at that time to deal with it. Another job had come up so I went for it.
Sept 98-Sept 03 London Underground:
I loved this job, and it was while I was on maternity leave with Colby that we made the decision to move to Liverpool.
So I met and married James while working for London Underground, but once we decided to have children we had to have a serious chat about what to do, we both worked shift work that changed week after week, there was no set routine in our life.
A nursery or childminder would have been out of the question because of the hours, and it was too much to ask family, the only alternative was for one of us to give up work. I wanted to be at home with our children but was worried about the financial side of it and how we’d cope with one income.
It was then we started looking at houses in Liverpool, which is where James is from, and 10 months after Colby was born we made the move.
I had no intention of staying at home as long as I have, I always thought I’d go back to work part-time when the kids started school but once the twins came along childcare for four was going to be to expensive.
I’ve now been a stay at home mum for thirteen years and have loved it, but I have missed everything about going out to work, the social life, the sense of belonging in a work place setting, adult conversation, and being me, instead of just being mum.
On the other hand I’ve been lucky to have watched every minute of my children grow, we have never had to worry about childcare in the holidays, or worry about who is going to look after them if they are sick.
I don’t think one is “better” than the other, either one means giving up quite a lot, and in most cases parents don’t have a choice especially in todays world.
Would I have made the same choices today, well…. I would hate to have any big regrets in my life, and being home with the children has been fantastic, but maybe I would have tweaked it a bit, moving away from family and friends just after having a baby probably wasn’t one of my best ideas,and I was really isolated and lonely up in Liverpool in the early days of motherhood, it didn’t help that I don’t drive.
So in an ideal world, I would have been a stay at home mum in London, although now I can’t imagine living anywhere else but Liverpool.
So coming full circle, I think I am where I’m meant to be, which can only be a good thing.